I could not tell you the shape of his body or the length of his hair. He was a nobody to me. Yet here I was. In a strange place with a strange man on the night of my 18th birthday. I stood facing him. Still I could not see but I could hear him breathing though the darkness. My heart beat so loud in my ears and my breath quickened in anticipation. How was I supposed to do this? I was a virgin and I had no clue as to the way a newlywed woman should act. Should I go to him, let him come to me? I closed my eyes. Suddenly there was movement and I could hear him coming closer. Each step that fell caused my heart to beat faster. Closer and closer then suddenly his breath was on my face. He leant in and I couldn’t breathe…suddenly I felt his lips brush against my cheek. He pulled away and in the gloom I could see him heading to the fire. It was just a pile of smoldering logs but as he added more wood the glow began to grow and soon the room was lit by the warm light of the fire. I could. Sam showed me how to take care of mytoe and finger nails and I started to shape them and cover them with aclear varnish.The next day I went to see Doug."Hi Tom, great to see you. Great game on Saturday, that was the best Ihave ever seen you play. Anyway what can I do for you?" This is going to be very difficult for me Doug, so please bear with meand listen to me all the way through." Shit Tom, you haven't been playing away and caught some STD, have you?" Doug, be serious. Listen to me. The up and the down of it is that Ican't maintain the lie of being a man anymore and I must starttransitioning to become the woman that I really am." Stop pissing about Tom, why are you really here?" Doug, I am desperately serious about this. I can't face life like thisany more, I can't pretend to be a man any more. I need your help and Ineed your referral to see the right specialists." Tom it's not April 1st, stop kidding me." Doug, I need your help." But Tom, I have known you for years. I have played.
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